Football

An example of the type of defibrillator soon to be found around Glasgow

Celtic Pubs to Get Defibrillators

‘Celtic pubs’ across the country are to get defibrillators installed on premises after the risk of heart attacks rose approximately 7400% while Celtic were playing Hapoel Beer Sheva in the second leg of their UEFA…

Share

Graffiti on a police station

Vandal Gets His ABCs Wrong Outside Police Station

Police Officers were spotted laughing at graffiti which appeared overnight on a police station wall, where ‘ABC’ was comically misspelt ‘ACAB’ by accident. Illiteracy amongst vandals and graffiti artists is allegedly growing, and it has…

Share

An artist's impression of what some have deemed 'potentially provocative'

Celtic Request Pre-Emptive Fine from UEFA Ahead of Israel Match

Celtic have asked UEFA to start disciplinary proceedings against them ahead of their Champions League play-off tie against Hapoel Beer-Sheva from Israel, as Celtic supporters begin construction of a pro-Palestine pyrotechnic and gymnastic extravaganza that…

Share

Child-friendly Partick Thistle mascot Kingsley

Man Not Pretending to Support Partick Thistle

The Haggis Times can exclusively reveal that it has discovered a genuine Partick Thistle supporter. We met James McKenzie, 58, a seasoned bar man, who had the following to say: “It’s been quite a hurtful…

Share

Celtic travel to Asia to face FC Astana

European Football: Celtic Draw Team From Asia

Scottish champions Celtic have booked themselves a tie in the UEFA Champions League 3rd Qualifying Round against FC Astana of Kazakhstan. FC Astana scraped through to the 3rd Qualifying Round after putting Lithuanian champions FK…

Share