Police Officers were spotted laughing at graffiti which appeared overnight on a police station wall, where ‘ABC’ was comically misspelt ‘ACAB’ by accident. Illiteracy amongst vandals and graffiti artists is allegedly growing, and it has…
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Edinburgers have completed their evacuation of the city after the annual Edinburgh Fringe Festival commenced at the end of last week. Edinburgh can now be confirmed as made-up of 55% English people, 20% foreigners, 15%…
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Celtic have asked UEFA to start disciplinary proceedings against them ahead of their Champions League play-off tie against Hapoel Beer-Sheva from Israel, as Celtic supporters begin construction of a pro-Palestine pyrotechnic and gymnastic extravaganza that…
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Scotland has embraced the culture and mood of the 2016 Olympic Games in Rio de Janeiro by contracting the infectious virus Zika. Commentators around the country have been impressed by the effort required to make…
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The Haggis Times can exclusively reveal that it has discovered a genuine Partick Thistle supporter. We met James McKenzie, 58, a seasoned bar man, who had the following to say: “It’s been quite a hurtful…
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As also reported by the Herald, anonymous health chiefs have warned that the SNP’s nefarious plot to cut airline taxes will kill an untold number of Scots. NHS Health Scotland’s response, to the Scottish Government…
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Up until now, there has been no attempt to understand the unreasonable obsession Glaswegians have with Nando’s, but that’s all about to change. Anthropologists from the University of Amsterdam have arrived to begin their study…
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The startling rumours that T2: Trainspotting 2 might be set in the Terminator universe have turned out to be true, after being confirmed in the film’s first teaser trailer. Director Danny Boyle has been credited…
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The decades-long Reign of Terror meted out by the infamously sadistic bus drivers of Glasgow has been observed as ‘increasing in ferocity’ by an ongoing study at the University of Robert Burns. The study outlines…
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Police Scotland have announced that while they can never condone stealing a 200lb ATM filled with tens of thousands of pounds in front of hundreds of witnesses, it is so impressive a feat that it’s…
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