Politics
Scone Referendum Settles Pronunciation Debate for a Generation
The recent scone pronunciation referendum result is in: sense has prevailed. Scotland continues to lead the way in correct pronunciation of scone, which is to rhyme with ‘gone’, and has saved the UK from a…
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Scots Are Eating Salad in Secret
Market analysis has revealed that a proportion of Scots must be eating salad, despite nationwide denial of the activity. The Haggis Times were given access to Morrisons’ annual sales records and found that certain vegetables…
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Volvic Water is “Orange and Proud”
Volvic water has today confirmed that it despises Catholics. It has also strenuously denied rumours the advertising campaign proclaiming their hatred will have the plug pulled across Scotland and Ireland. William Findlay, PR manager at…
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Andy Murray Now in Contention to Be Dunblane’s Greatest Olympian
After winning another gold medal in men’s singles tennis at Rio 2016, the word on the street is that Andy Murray can now be taken seriously when considering Dunblane’s greatest ever Olympians. Andy Murray defeated…
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The SNP are trying to kill Scots, says NHS
As also reported by the Herald, anonymous health chiefs have warned that the SNP’s nefarious plot to cut airline taxes will kill an untold number of Scots. NHS Health Scotland’s response, to the Scottish Government…
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