Scottish School Walls ‘Made out of LEGO’

Oxgangs Primary school in Edinburgh was damaged in a stormOxgangs Primary school in Edinburgh was damaged in a storm

Freedom of Information requests have revealed that the spate of Scottish schools closing due to collapsing walls is because they were secretly made of Lego.

The Haggis Times submitted the request after Lego was spotted scattered around the first school to experience problems, Oxgangs Primary, in April this year. Some 30 schools have since closed after it was revealed that they too were made of Lego, and that they were not built according to instructions.

Fraser McCloud, Master Architect at Robert Burns University said the following “I would suggest that using Lego to build a school is a highly controversial business decision. However, it is acknowledged as a legitimate building material, especially in bespoke & chic building circles. However, not following the instructions in the box is incredibly unorthodox and in contravention of standard practice that it could, in my view, be considered malpractice of the highest order.”

An inquiry has been ordered to look into how these problems could have arisen and gone unnoticed since 2010, but insiders believe they already know the cause of the problem. Peter Boyd, 9, a pupil at Oxgangs Primary, had the following insight: “It has indeed been astoundingly clear to me that the main structural defect afflicting this building is that there are in essence two separate walls adjacent to one another. The outer and inner walls are touching, but not connected in the strong, interwoven pattern in which almost every wall has been constructed since the Early Aegean Civilization period, around 3000BC. Lego would never approve such a design for their instructions.”

The Haggis Times will follow the inquiry and update as any developments arise.


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