Scotland Gets Into the Olympics Mood by Contracting Zika

The Zika Virus has opened its doors in ScotlandThe Zika Virus has opened its doors in Scotland

Scotland has embraced the culture and mood of the 2016 Olympic Games in Rio de Janeiro by contracting the infectious virus Zika.

Commentators around the country have been impressed by the effort required to make the virus feel at home in Scotland, as its natural climate is not hospitable to Zika, which likes tropical weather and long walks along the beach.

The unpopular midge population has been contacted to help carry the virus in the absence of mosquitoes, a move which could help improve their image, but there has been no official response as of yet.

Further attempts are being made at capturing the essence of the unique Olympic games in Rio. These include filling Scotland’s rivers with toxic nuclear waste from Dounreay Power Station, giving Easterhouse the official title of shanty town, and polluting the air by reducing Air Passenger Duty in addition to replacing Scotland’s wind farms with distributed miniature coal factories.

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